Error
by ma-yonaka14
Summary: This is kind of a sequel to my Ed Goes To School fanfiction, but not really. It stars Envy and Lust in a somewhat humorous story.


Error

"So Lust, I'm going out for a walk" Envy told Lust.

"Whatever. Just be back before nightfall." Lust said, filling her nails.

"Do you need anything?" Envy asked, straightening out his skirt.

"I need some milk." Lust answered, not even looking at Envy. Envy snorted and left.

XXX

"Here's your milk, Lust." Envy said as he walked in the room. He threw it on Lust, who gave Envy a dirty look.

"I'm going to bed." Lust said drowsily. But before she went into her room she popped the milk into the microwave and heated it up.

"Who seriously drinks warm milk, Lust?" Envy asked.

"Shut up or I'll kill you." Lust shot back. Envy ignored the rude remark and watched Lust stroll into her room. Envy plopped down on the couch and started brushing his hair.

XXX

Lust suddenly found herself on the streets of Central. There were many people out. The sun had risen high in the sky. She wasn't drowsy like when she went to bed. Lust wondered how she got out here and concluded that Envy had something to do with it. She decided that she would look for him.

Lust had walked for about fifteen minutes before she spotted Envy. He was walking into a small shop. She quickly caught up to him, but he headed into a beauty shop. Lust bought a bracelet from the street-side seller before she headed in after Envy. When she walked in, she saw Envy talking to the store clerk. She crept up closer to hear their conversation.

"So are you saying that if I lather this hair gel in my hair, it will become spikier, because it takes me like ten hours every single day to make my hair look like this?" Envy asked the clerk.

"Sure. You will definitely not need to spend ten hours a day with this product." The store clerk answered.

"Great! I'll take ten." Envy declared cheerfully.

The store clerk turned around to go to the cash register, but stopped and asked Envy, "Has anyone ever told you that you that your head is shaped like a palm tree?"

Envy stared at her with an expressionless face before answering "Error!" the store clerk gave Envy a funny look prior to heading to the cash register.

Lust stood there starring at Envy. She didn't know that someone could be such an idiot. For her, personally, she would kill anyone that said that about her. Envy quickly bought the shampoos and left the store. Lust followed him into another store. It was a coffee shop. Envy ordered a vanilla blend cappuccino and a scone. Lust suddenly remembered how hungry she was and she ordered herself a muffin and mocha late. She sat down at the other end of the shop and watched Envy closely. He seemed to be straightening out his skirt in between bites. Lust only shook her head in dismay.

After a few minutes of eating, Envy got up and threw the rest of his scone away. He carried his cappuccino in one hand and the bag of shampoo in the other as he walked out of the coffee shop. Lust quickly followed him out, finishing her muffin on the way.

Envy was walking down the street like he owned it; Lust shook her head in disgust. Envy, then headed into another store. Lust stopped at the front of the store and looked around to see if anyone else had noticed the store Envy had walked in. Lust was dumbfounded at the thought of what Envy had to do in a bank. She thought he was too retarded for all of the math and money involved.

Lust followed Envy in anyways and found him talking to a bank teller. She stepped closer to hear their conversation.

"Ya, so I'd like to purchase a credit card, because I like, buy too many things and I need to get some stuff cheaper. Can I have one?" Envy said n an obnoxious way.

The bank teller looked at Envy like he was joking, "That's not the way credit cards work. You buy credit card and charge the payment. Later a bill will come in the mail to you and you have to pay then. Clear?"

Envy was taken back by the response of the teller, "Error! Error!" he said and stomped off. He was so mad he didn't notice Lust sitting on a bench by the door. Envy started stomping down the street at a fast pace, sending Lust scurrying after him. Envy walked up to a street-side beauty cart.

"Can I have some perfume?" Envy asked, slowly crumpling the cup in his hand to relieve his anger. The woman in the cart drew the curtains without saying a word leaving Envy shunned. He clearly was mad now from Lust's point of view. His face turned bright red and his hands clenched into fists (the coffee in his hand splattered everywhere). Envy suddenly got clam. He started skipping down the street, leaving Lust gagging in the distance.

After Lust had finished choking, she scurried of to catch up with Envy. She found him pointing everywhere and yelling something. When she was closer, she could hear what Envy was screaming.

"Error! Error! Error." he yelled. Lust wondered why he would be yelling that.

Envy pointed to a dog and said, "Error! Error! Poodles aren't supposed to be shaved!!!" the owner of the dog scowled and ran off. Envy continued to point and scream.

He then came up to a man with a mohawk and yelled, "Error! Error! Mohawks aren't supposed to be dyed green!!!" the man with the mohawk glared at Envy and then turned into a store.

An old lady wearing a purple shirt and carrying an orange purse strolled by. "Error! Error! Error! Clashing colors. Clashing colors!" the old lady started hitting Envy with her purse, making him scream in terror. Then the old lady pulled out a can of pepper spray and she sprayed it in Envy's face.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!" Envy bellowed. The old lady ran away after her attack. "Error! Error! Error! Envy is supposed to see!!!" Envy continued his cry. He ran into a pole, while trying to find something to wipe his face. He fell to the ground, whimpering.

"Awwww. You poor baby." a young lady said, walking over to Envy. Envy blinked open his painful eyes to find him in the arms of a woman. She cradled him, wiping the spray off of his forehead. "That's a good man. You know, you're kind of cute. Has anyone ever told you that!" she asked hugging him tighter. Envy's face soon turned red. Then he burst out.

"Error! Error! Error! Can not compute!" the girl looked at Envy like he was an animal at a circus.

"Freak!" she yelled in response and ran off. Envy got up and walked the other way. He didn't notice Lust hiding behind a bush, laughing at him as he walked by. She got up soon after he passed, still giggling when she threw away the rest of her mocha late. She looked up from the trashcan and saw a man hugging Envy. She walked up closer, staying hidden in the shadows, to hear what they were saying.

"So what could make a pretty lady like you so sad?" the man asked Envy, who was sulking in his arms. Envy tried to speak, but stopped when he heard Lust laughing in the background. He turned to look, but only saw the shadows dancing.

"Just a little love trouble. And by the way I'm a-."Envy stopped what he was saying when the man hugged him harder. Envy sighed slightly and sank into his grip.

The man soon realized something was missing and released his grip on Envy. He looked at him and then realized what was missing and then ran off, cursing under his breath. Envy went back to sulking as he walked slowly down the street. Lust almost felt sorry for him. She walked up to him and was about to say something but, Envy ran off.

He had come a few steps away from another man. Lust quickened his pace until she was once again close enough to hear what Envy had proposed.

"Hey there." Envy said to the man. He turned his head so he was facing Envy. He made a face, expecting a question or an answer why Envy had greeted him, and gestured with his arms.

Envy gulped before he spoke again, "Do…do…you…do you want…to…do you want to go to the women's department with me?"

The man looked at Envy like he was having a hangover. "NOOO!!! What kind of question is that?" Envy stared at him with a blank expression.

"It would make me happy." Envy said smiling. The man shook his head and started to walk off, but Envy stopped him. The man looked back at Envy at and jumped. Envy had changed his emotion from sympathy to rage in the blink of an eye. His fists clenched and he raised one hand in a punch.

"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! There's no need for violence. I'll go with you." the man said and took Envy's hand reluctantly.

"What is it with people these days?" Lust muttered under her breath. She stepped out of her hiding place and went back to stalking Envy.

"So what are you going to get at the women's department?" the man said as he was secretly trying to get out of Envy's grip, but Envy only held tighter.

"Let's get some thongs!" Envy said cheerfully.

"Um… I don't wear thongs. Can't I get boxers instead?" the man asked.

"No way! Boxers are hideous!" Envy said, still cheerful.

"Um… but I like boxer-." The man started.

"Boxer's will make you look fat. They make me look fat," Envy began in a reassuring way. "They have hearts or flowers, which one do you want?"

"I think I'll have to pass." The man said pulling away from Envy's tight grip.

"If you don't want some thongs, you can get some sports bras." Envy said, loosing some cheer.

"Um, I don't need sports bras. When I work out, I go shirtless." The man said, hoping that his words would convince Envy to let him go.

"You go shirtless!!! Wow, let's work out together!!!" Envy said forgetting about the women's department.

"This whole workout thing won't work out. I'm going to a party with my friend, oh there he is now." The man said, waving to his friend. Envy turned his head and saw the man's friend and released his grip on the man.

"Oops!" The man said when Envy started to run towards his friend. The man ran in the other direction, away from Envy. He ran by Lust, who congratulated him under her breath, and stopped to rest on a bench. He turned his head to look at where his friend was. He gaped when he saw Envy on top of his friend, and started running again. Lust got out of her hiding place to see why the man was gaping. When she found out, she fainted.

XXX

Lust found herself lying in bed. She then realized that the events with her stalking Envy were all a dream. Or maybe a nightmare. It took her awhile to get the traumatic dream out of her head. She got out of bed and straightened her gown. She headed for the door, but it opened before she reached. Envy stomped in and threw the door closed behind him.

"Lust! Lust!" Envy yelled. "Oh you're right there, can you fix the T.V." Envy continued to yell.

"I'm right here Envy. What's wrong with the T.V.?" Lust said in a more calm voice.

"Whenever I press a button on the remote the T.V. goes blank and in small letters the word _error_ appears. Then after a while, the T.V. starts saying _error, error, error_!" Envy said in an annoyed voice. Lust suddenly had flashbacks of the dream. She started hyperventilating and knelt down on the floor.

"Lust, did you hear me? The T.V. keeps saying _error, error, error_!" Envy said looking down at her.

Lust shot out her claws on her right hand at Envy. One hitting his mouth and coming out the other end. "Shut up! Shut up Envy!"


End file.
